Camper's (B)Log

A couple of weeks ago, the big kids and I went on a family camping trip with some dear friends of ours, the Leonards, up to Cunningham Falls State Park in Maryland -- just south of Gettysburg. Below is the play-by-play of that eventful trip.

Thursday morning: We went over the Leonards to pack the coolers and finalize details for our departure that afternoon. The plan was to leave mid-afternoon (before rush hour got too bad) after an appointment for Brennan and a mid-day engagement the Leonards had.

Thursday afternoon: It turned out to be 3:45 by the time we got off for various reasons, and I knew that we'd hit some rush hour traffic. Sure enough, before we even hit the -270 spur, traffic came to a stand-still. I assumed that traffic would ease up once we finally hit the -270 HOV lanes -- and it did -- but then it came to another stand-still before we got out of the DC metro area. We finally heard rumor of an accident about three miles south of I-70, 20 miles north of where we started. So, our 1.5-hour trip turned into a 2.5-hour trip. The Leonards got delayed and didn't make it to the site until 8:00 that evening -- and they had our food! Once they got there, they started setting up their camp and I started cooking the food. Cooking (and eating) in the dark was definitely interesting. For those that didn't know, the fire from a propane camping stove does NOT provide much light!

Friday morning: I awoke to find out that something (a raccoon perhaps?) had gotten into our picnic pavilion and into the trash. No biggy. Just pick up the junk and double-bag the trash. Brennan really wanted to make a fire in the fire pit to roast marshmallows (what kid doesn't?), so he and Reese (the Leonards' 4-year-old son) went out to collect sticks while I cooked breakfast. The landscape around our campsite had a fair drop-off, but the kids had been careful and had been playing for a little while. All of a sudden, Reese screamed. Vanessa ran to him and he was holding his arm. To make a long story short, his arm didn't look good, so Vanessa loaded Reese up in the car and took him to the hospital. It turns out that he broke his arm at the elbow and had to have surgery to put pins in, which would require an overnight stay -- less than 12 hours after we all arrived! So much for a nice, relaxing family/friend camping trip!

Friday afternoon: We went to the hospital to visit Reese later that morning. When we returned, we quickly had lunch and it was starting to rain. Thankfully, I had just sealed the tent prior to the trip, so the rain was no problem. Uh-huh. I walked in the tent only to hear my kids tell me that there was water on the floor of the tent and some dripping over their heads. What happened to all that tent sealant I put on??? Well, the rains came down...and down...and down harder. As the day wore on, we developed more leaks. I was left wondering whether it was the sealant that didn't work or the sheer volume of water that almost any tent would be hard pressed to withstand. Finally, out of boredom, Brad came over and asked if we wanted to go to Gettysburg just to have something to do. His two remaining kids are 3 and 1, so entertaining them for the afternoon was much harder for him than for me. So, we packed everyone up and away we went for an afternoon driving tour down History Lane. We didn't get to walk Pickett's Charge, but we did walk the ground of the high water mark of the Confederacy. Love that place!

Friday night: The rain finally quit. I fixed dinner, then Brad took his kids to see Reese at the hospital. Addison, Brennan, and I enjoyed a nice relaxing evening roasting marshmallows and reading.

Saturday morning: I awoke to find that the raccoon had gotten into the trash again...and the two bags of marshmallows that I forgot to put in the car the night before. Oops! I fixed breakfast for all of us and discussed plans with Brad. Reese was going to get discharged that morning, so he was going to go pick them up and bring them back so that we could all go hiking to the falls. Vanessa loves waterfalls and didn't want to miss it. After that, they were going to eat lunch with us, then pack up and head home. The falls were actually a stream of water that cascaded down a high and wide rock face rather than a traditional water fall. But, you could climb up the rock face, which was cool. We had a great time!

Saturday afternoon: After a late lunch, the kids and I headed over to the lake. We decided we'd either go swimming or rent a canoe or paddle boat. It turns out that the lake is a huge draw for folks on the weekend. It was almost as if the state park was there for the lake and, oh by the way, they have camping, too. We aren't used to seeing that many people around where we go camping! On top of all the people, both swim beaches were closed due to contamination and there was an infinite wait for a boat. So we decided to go hiking instead. We found a trail map and found that we could hike from our camp site back over to the falls -- only about a mile hike -- so we decided to do that then come back for an early dinner. When we reached the falls, we climbed all the way to the top of the rock face to enjoy the view, then we picked out a place right next to the water and just sat there. Addison convinced us that we should take our shoes off and stick our feet in the stream. I didn't want to at first, because I'd just have to put my shoes back on...with wet feet. After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to live a little. I took my shoes off and stuck my feet in, and I'm so glad I did. It felt good. It was peaceful up there. It was awesome! We hiked back, had dinner, and enjoyed a very restful evening roasting marshmallows (newly purchased from the camp store!) and reading before dark. Now that's the life!

Sunday morning: We struck camp and headed home, minus the traffic jam. Overall, a very nice weekend -- even with all the unexpecteds! I am sorry that Reese broke his arm and turned the Leonards' weekend upside down. I know they were hoping for a restful weekend as well, but I think they enjoyed the small time they were there. Oh, and Reese is doing very well, but he has a massive cast on his arm. He's quite a trooper!

Boys Will Be Boys

Brennan went to camp for the first time this year. He was very excited. Addison has been the last 3 years, and Brennan was ecstatic that it was finally his turn. He talked about it for weeks -- that he was going to camp with his friend, Tommy.

We had a minor diversion early that week: Brennan got hit in the head with a baseball bat and had to have five stitches. Asked how it happened, he replied, "Standing too close." Yep. Hoping Darwin's theory will mean that he'll use his head a little more (or is it a little less?) next time he's standing next to the kid with the bat. That was on Monday. On Friday, Brennan got the stitches removed to cut down on scarring. So, having had experience in these matters, I told him to be sure to put sunscreen on his face every day because scars don't tan well. Otherwise, he might end up with a bright red war wound on his forehead for the rest of his life. He assured me he would.

Having outgrown all but his peanut allergy, food was not so much of a concern. In fact, I was quite glad that he would get to partake of daily canteen (i.e., Coke and candy) with very little restriction. The only minor concern was that the daily I-don't-like-that-food option was the make-your-own PB&J. Now, we're not quite certain just how allergic to peanuts he is since he's never been exposed, but his blood test numbers are (literally) off the charts. We do know, though, that there's no problem with him being around peanuts. We just don't want them on or in him. He can theoretically sit right next to someone having a PB&J with no adverse effects. So, I told him not to get in a fight with the kid at his table eating the peanut butter sandwich. He assured me he would not.

I helped him pack his suitcase. I even separated his clothes into ziplock bags for each day -- complete with a change of underwear. We talked briefly about this, too, but I wasn't too worried, because I was assured by our veteran camp-goer that campers are required to take a shower every day. After all, if you have a ziplock bag for every day and you're required to take a shower everyday, by the transitive property of logic and mathematics, one can assume that the boy will take off the entire old outfit (including underwear), take a shower, and put on the entirely new outfit (including underwear), post-shower. Good dad.

With preparations complete, we loaded up the car, and drove out there. It turns out that, not only was his friend Tommy there, but also several of his other friends. We arranged for them all to be in the same cabin. I felt sorry for his counselor. He had an almost entire cabin-full of rising third-graders -- most every bit as rowdy as Brennan. All I can say is I'm glad it was him and not me! I do have to say, though, despite all the things you're already anticipating I'll say, apparently, Brennan was the master bed-maker (a trait we'll be sure to make use of at home now that we know!)! He won best bed in his cabin one day and was apparently hired to make sure that the beds were made properly for all the boys that were (shall we say) bed-making challenged -- to ensure that the entire cabin wasn't penalized for untidiness. So, props to my son! Who knew?

Well, I missed my son. I e-mailed him everyday, but never heard from him. It was probably a good thing. That at least meant that he wasn't sending letters saying he was homesick! So, I was excited to go pick him up. When we got there, Addison saw him first and rushed up to him. I followed behind and the first thing she said was, "Look at his shoes!" I looked down and they were solid brown. They used to be blue and gray. The conversation then went something like this:

"What happened to your shoes?"

"I was wading in the creek looking for crawdads."

"With your shoes on?"

"Yeah."

"How many days?"

"Pretty much every day."

Later...

"So, did you use sunscreen every day?"

"No."

"How come?"

"I didn't have time!"

"You didn't have time to put on sunscreen?"

"No."

"But you had time to hunt for crawdads?"

"Right."

Amazingly, his scar looks pretty good. I'm thankful, but wondering why I don't catch breaks like that...

Later, at home, unpacking his suitcase, I found one pair of socks that went straight into the trash (still wet), another that looked salvageable that went into the laundry, and five pair that were still rolled up neatly in his suitcase. I said (You can see it coming, can't you? After 11 years of being a parent, I still have a propensity to ask dumb questions!), "Why didn't you wear these socks?", to which he replies, "Well, I didn't want to get my socks all messed up wading in the creek looking for crawdads!" Right. Guess it was okay for those shoes, though!

Still sorting through the suitcase, I notice that pretty much everything is wet in there. I ask, "Why is everything wet in here? Is it because your towel was in here?" He responds, "I don't know. Maybe. Or it might be that my clothes fell in the water while I was taking a shower." Really? How is it that all your clothes got wet in the shower every day??

Finally, as I come to the bottom of the suitcase, I find ziplock bags in there with...wait for it...clean underwear still in them! I said, "Why is there clean underwear still in here?", to which he responds, "I don't know." Still having not learned my lesson about asking dumb questions, I continue, "I thought you were supposed to take a shower every day." He says, "I did!". "Wait," I said, "you took a shower every day, but didn't change your underwear every day?" Shyly, "Right." "So...How many days did you change your underwear?" Mind you, he was there for 8 days. "Oh, prob'ly three." Un. Be. Lievable.

I just shook my head. I wanted to be upset with him, but instead I just laughed to myself. I vaguely remember doing stupid stuff like that when I was a kid. Some things never change between generations. And some things are obviously in-bred...To boys! Stop thinking that! I heard that! It's all boys -- not that he got it from me! At least it's never a dull moment around our house! Oh, and the shoes? They went in the trash...right after he wore them to the store to buy new ones. I leave you with a couple of pictures of the old shoes. Any other parents seen these shoes before?

Day 156: Another Milestone

Today is Day 156 of Lauren and Cristi's unfortunate incarceration as we've taken to calling it. You may wonder why this particular day would be significant, other than the fact that it's an even (but not round) number. Today marks being in the hospital for one day longer than all of Lauren's previous 20 hospital stays combined. Yes, you read that right: Lauren accumulated 155 days in the hospital in just short of 3 years and 20 stays, and has now been in the hospital waiting on a heart transplant for 156 days -- a combined total of 311 days in 3 years and 5 months. Wow! Thinking about that makes me wonder how long?

On days like this, though, I'm reminded that our deployed troops spend at least 6 months away from their families -- some over a year. That kind of puts it in perspective. Having been deployed twice, though, I can tell you that, no matter how many people you're around, you miss your family. Certainly that's true for my family as every day begins to look like Groundhog Day.

As I feel myself slipping into sadness, though, I'm reminded of a literary classic called Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (that I'm reading with the kids for about the fourth time). In that book, Harry encounters dementors -- absolutely horrid creatures that quite literally drain the happiness out of people -- and Harry is afflicted worse than most it seems. Fortunately for Harry, it's possible for practiced wizards to conjure a patronus that fights them off via a complex spell that is sparked by focusing your mind on an extremely happy memory. Fortunately for me, too, I can fight those feelings of despair by focusing on all the good things God has blessed me with. You can see a partial list here. Add to that the successful cath earlier this week and the fact that I get to see Lauren and Cristi regularly (even if not as frequently as I'd like) and you really just can't ask for more under the circumstances. But instead of a complex spell that spawns some powerful vapor-like being, it's the Peace of God that passes all understanding, knowing that it will all be okay, because He promised it would.

Candid Conversations With a Three-Year-Old

Ever wonder what goes through the mind of a three-year-old? Sometimes, when they speak, they make you laugh. Sometimes they make you cry. Sometimes they make you proud. And, sometimes, they make you sigh. We've always known that Lauren understands a lot -- more than most little kids do (or should) at their age. In fact, one thing is abundantly clear: Lauren is not sitting idly by in the hospital wondering why the wall is blue, oblivious to everything. The other day, Cristi had a philosophical conversation with Lauren -- just out of the blue. I thought I'd share it with you.

[One morning in the playroom]

Lauren: Who works in the cath lab?

Cristi: Dr. Hanna. (Lauren's cardiologist)

Lauren: Who else?

Cristi: [Pauses to think]

Lauren: Does Robert's (one of the older boys she knows on the ward) doctor work in the cath lab?

Cristi: No. He works in the operating room.

Lauren: Can he fix my heart?

Cristi: No, but he might help when you get your new, strong heart.

Lauren: Will he put it in my back?

Cristi: No, it will go in the front.

Lauren: Oh. I'll lift up my shirt for him in the operating room!

[An hour or so later, as Cristi is putting Lauren down for her nap]

Lauren: Will you go with me to the operating room?

Cristi: Yes, I'll go all the way to the operating room with you.

Lauren: Good! [Pauses] I'll cooperate! (We tell her she has to cooperate when she goes to the gym, or Mommy will have to leave)

[Later...back in three-year-old land...]
Lauren was pretending to play Rock Band in the playroom. She pretended to turn on the TV, open the X-Box, and put the imaginary disc in. Then she got the drumsticks, sat down, tapped the sticks while saying, "1-2-3", and then proceeded to sing a song: "Merf, Merf, Merf".

Then, Cristi and Lauren were playing Dora Candyland. She got tired of playing with just the two player markers (Lauren, not Cristi!), so she kept making up new players (Tico, Benny, Backpack, etc.). Cristi said she must have had about 10 imaginary players on the board that they were trying to keep track of! Imagine how many times that many players could hit Queen Frostine and have to go back to the beginning! Talk about a never-ending game! Of course, at that age, it's way more about the playing than the winning.

Well, there you have it: A three-year-old's mind at work. One moment, happily pretending that she's a rock star -- another moment, clearly spending significant brain cells on the implications of her "unfortunate incarceration" -- who's involved, how it works, what to expect, whether she'll have to go through it all alone...I'm awe-struck. What an amazing little girl!

Living the Dream of a Prom Queen

Last week was a busy week. In the first three days, I had already worked about 36 hours, trying to get ready for my big briefings that begin the process of building the Air Force budget for 2011. The days were long, I needed more time, and I was about to go crazy. But in the middle of the busy-ness, I got to take a little time out for a really special night with my daughter. Last Thursday was "Prom night" at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, and Cristi asked me to come up, wear my Mess Dress, and be Lauren's date. Now how could I turn that down?

About 3 years ago, they began having an annual prom for the kids who were stuck in the hospital and weren't able to go. They open it up to all the kids, though, and really make a big deal out of it. I took up a formal for Cristi and the dress Addison wore as a flower girl in Cristi's sister's wedding for Lauren. It was perfect! The hospital spent the whole day getting ready for it. On Lauren's floor, they transformed the playroom into the 6 East Beauty Salon. They had a stylist there, so Lauren got her hair and nails done. She knew how to show it off, too. She even asked one of the nurse practitioners if she was going to the prom and what she was wearing. She replied that she thought she'd wear what she had on (a very stylish shirt/slacks combo, which she wore to work that day). Lauren gave her a look that said that was clearly not appropriate! Talk about a diva! I was amazed, wondering where she learned such behavior! I think it must be from her sister!

The entire floor went down together. We quite literally paraded down the halls to the elevator, IV poles, heart monitors, and medical staff all in tow. Even with all the added gear, it was quite a site to see with all the kids dressed up in their best clothes. When we arrived downstairs, we got to walk down the red carpet with photographers taking pictures and people cheering the kids on. They transformed the cafeteria into a dance floor (not unlike they did for Cristi's and my first two proms together) and had a DJ there to get the kids and adults moving together on the dance floor. Just imagine teens, 3-year-olds, and AF majors raising the roof, doing conga lines, and line dancing. Sorry...no pictures...You'll just have to imagine that!

They even had local media there covering the event, and before we knew it, we had been volunteered to get interviewed. I could tell you all about it, but I'll just let the story speak for itself (click here).

Unfortunately, I had to drive back home that night so that I could be at work early the next morning for my briefings. Just a short trip, but one well worth it! Enjoy the pictures!

Lauren and her cardiologist, Dr. Hanna

Lights, Camera, Action! (or, Playing Jesus)

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to participate in something really moving: a musical called Imagine. Now, I'm not an actor. I never took Drama in school. The closest I ever got to theater was playing in the orchestra for high school musicals (different from High School Musical that your tween knows and loves). I do love music though, and I'm passionate about worship, so I impulsively tried out for a role in our church's spring production.

Imagine is an original musical, written by one of our members, that traces church music back from the very beginning when, Jubal, the father of music, is mentioned in Genesis 4 down to today's contemporary Christian ubiquity. The 60% of our family still living in DC all decided to take part. In fact, we all had to try out -- yes, try out...all of us. The kids tried out for their song-and-dance number first. Addison's done choreographed numbers before, so dancing wasn't a big deal, but singing in front of everyone made her nervous. Brennan on the other hand went up there and belted out a song fairly well for a kid with no training, but then looked like the quintessential football player doing ballet when trying the choreography! It was comical! My audition didn't go so well either; you'd've thought that I got dared into doing "Born to be Wild" at a Karaoke bar. Thankfully, the director was "taking" everyone. We were just trying out for role placement. The next day she called me with my "assignments: Among other things, I got to be...wait for it...Jesus! My heart sank. How can I play Jesus? I mean, He's like...God!

The rehearsals started the next week. That left our weekends in the dust: Every Sunday for 3 hours. Sunday was no longer a day of rest. And, as we got closer to the show, I kept taking on increased responsibility. First, it was leading the chorus during the music portion of the rehearsal. Then, it was helping with the set. Forget a heart transplant. The show must go on -- especially since Cristi was coming to town for the Saturday night performance (we had a wonderful hour-and-a-half together, by the way)!

Actually, helping with the set turned out to be both fun and educational. I showed up and asked how I could help. The next thing I knew, I was climbing 20-foot ladders hanging lights from the ceiling. Yes, Karin had hired someone she knew from local theater that had been doing lighting and sound for 30+ years! I had no idea you actually had to "focus" the lights -- who knew? Who knew I'd have to wear makeup, too? Foundation, blush, lipstick, and a makeup beard! I even learned how to put it on myself (except for the beard part; I had people assigned to dress me in my Jesus garb and do my makeup during quick-change superman drills) and impressed a couple of the teenage girls. Of course, I'm not sure that's a proficiency they should be looking for in a guy...

Finally, after a grueling last week of rehearsals, opening day arrived. I had so much pent-up energy, and despite seeing it several times in rehearsal, I couldn't wait to see how the show "came off". It was a kind of paradox of feeling, actually. I wanted to see the show so that I could imagine what it must have been like to have witnessed all those scenes. Yet, at the same time, it was incumbent upon me and the rest of the cast to bring it to life for the audience -- so that they could imagine!

Well, since many of you couldn't be there, let me walk you through several of the scenes, and let you imagine what it might have been like...

Imagine being in the fields with the boy David as he played with his friends and sang traditional Jewish songs...

Imagine the dedication of Solomon's temple -- all the grandeur of the temple itself and the pomp and circumstance of a dedication ceremony driven by the awe and passion of a people who realized they were taking part, not just in a historical moment, but in a moment that had God's undivided attention...

Imagine the temple being destroyed -- a time of such despondency among the priests and the people that the splendor and orchestral majesty seen in the temple dedication was ordered replaced with monotonic chants...

Imagine Martin Luther telling the people how stupid that was -- that God gave us the gift and beauty of music and that we should use it for His glory...

Imagine Handel writing the Hallelujah Chorus, going several days without food, and then hearing it performed for the very first time...

Imagine slaves singing a spiritual, not only as a cry to God, but also as a call to assembly and escape...

Imagine a white church and a black church in the same town that finally come together, breaking down age-old barriers...

Imagine a large gathering of Christians all lifting their voices together in high-energy praise...


Imagine what Heaven will be like...Imagine all the kids running to Jesus when they see Him for the very first time as all of Heaven sings, "Worthy is the Lamb! Praise the great I AM!"...

Unfortunately, this word picture paints but a fraction of the full canvas, but I hope you could see just momentarily in your mind how powerful some of those moments through the ages must have been (or will be, in the case of Heaven). I'm humbled to have been a part of it -- especially humbled to play the part of Jesus -- one that I'm certainly not worthy of. I have to tell you, though, that it lit up my heart to see all those kids running toward me. Imagine what that will be like...

All good things must come to an end, though. And, after the last show Sunday night, we had to take down the entire set. That was fun in its own right, though. I volunteered to take down lights (since I help put them up). This time, it wasn't the ladder, though. Yep...I got to drive one of those scissors lifts. Drove it all the way from the parking lot, into the church building, and up and down the aisles taking down lights, poles, cords. I felt like a little kid! I mean, who'd'a thunk that you'd get to drive a scissors lift at church?!? I think I need one of those at home!

Later that night, I finally made it home, crawled into bed and went to sleep. It seemed just a short time until the alarm went off for Monday morning. Alas, all good things must come to an end...

The Storm has Passed

We got great news about Brennan today! It's been a while since I posted an update about him, so you may want to refresh your memory by clicking here and here. I mentioned in my previous Brennan update that putting this puzzle together was a bit like putting together a puzzle of a bunch of spilled candy and doing it without the box. Only now it's as if I just realized I just needed to turn the pieces over for it to all come clear. OK, enough intrigue and metaphor: Brennan's neurologist called today with the results of his EEG that he had over a month ago (finally!); everything's clear! Before, he was showing subtle epileptic activity, but now, even knowing what to look for, there's nothing there! No epileptic activity, no seizures, nothing. Just plain-jane vanilla brain waves. She thinks it may have been one of the medicines he was on to treat his supposed bipolar.

His psychiatrist rescinded the bipolar diagnosis a while back and replaced it with anxiety. Thankfully, we've been able to manage that with weekly therapy sessions and without medicine. He still struggles with temper outbursts, but I think it's getting better. You can almost see the wheels turning in his head when something makes him mad. He's fighting his demons to determine which side will win. That's a huge step forward! Of course the true test will be when his mother gets back, since that's where he's had the hardest time controling his outbursts. I'm convinced it will be better, and perhaps (hopefully), this separation has been a healing rain of sorts.

On top of his weekly psych therapy, he's getting weekly occupational therapy. Brennan's incredibly talented in some ways, like sports and math, but has problems in multi-sensory environments and with real-world problem-solving. His occupational therapist specializes in that sort of therapy, so we're hopeful that will ease some frustration he may be having over "simple things". He's at least having fun! He gets to do things like build obstacle courses and test them out and play with putty that makes bathroom noises when you squeeze it. What more could an 8-year-old boy ask for?

We are so absolutely thankful that yet another burden has been lifted. Brennan still has a fair amount of therapy ahead of him, but we're now convinced that there's nothing extremely serious or harmful wrong with him. Praise God! He is good!

Rock You Like a Hurricane

Our family loves the Wii. And last weekend, I had the chance to try out a game I was sure I would love but hadn't yet played: Rock Band. What made it even sweeter was that Lauren loved it, too!

I got to babysit Lauren all morning while Cristi went out shopping, and she wanted to play, not once, not twice, but three times!! Well, being the good dad, I couldn't really turn her down, could I? We jammed to Bon Jovi, Nirvana, and a couple of others. When Cristi got back, she said, "I see Daddy babysits different than Mommy!" Yup!

Of course, then I got Cristi in on it, and we all played together: Me on drums, Cristi on the axe, and Lauren wailing on the mic! I loved it!

Ridin' the Waves

OK, so this is, like, so last century by now, but I wanted to share pics of our trip to Great Wolf Lodge. We went down with some friends of ours, the Leonards, with their three kids, and we had a blast! It was our fourth time down there, and it just never gets old.

The lobby

The wave pool

Addison, Brennan, Vanessa, and I coming off the Howlin' Tornado

Disciplining Brennan with water torture

Splash down!

My model

All boy...

The Wolf Den

Dancin' the Night Away

Teaching Brennan to boogy board

Good learner!

Great time!

Count Your Blessings (Reprise)

Last week was a tough week.

Lauren seemed to be declining again. She "just wasn't quite right" as Cristi described it to me. She was also falling a lot -- like her legs were just giving out underneath her. That was certainly a disturbing new development. The doctors were beginning to get concerned. Of course we're always concerned that she'll start going d0wnhill before she gets her heart.

Work wasn't going well. I have two main programs I'm responsible for. One is already on life support, and started getting worse. The other one was going fine, but then an organization I work with decided to start throwing a fit about stuff I didn't think was that excitable.

I was starting to get nervous about finding a house. We thought we found one, but it looked like it was going to fall through. Then, instead of going to Philadelphia to see Cristi and Lauren, I'd have to stay here looking at houses...and I really missed Cristi.

The kids were off to Georgia with Opa and Oma, and I was left by myself. I absolutely HATE being by myself. I wound up working late every night only to come home to work that needed to be done around the house. Then stay up late, get up early, repeat.

The stress was mounting to the point that I just wasn't sure how much longer I could take it. Everyone always talks about how positive we are. I do try to look for the positive --to have joy -- in every situation...and in most cases, it helps. But it didn't this time. Little annoyances just kept happening -- things that ordinarily wouldn't be that big of a deal. But they were this time. The veneer had cracked, and I feared I had somehow lost God's protection and comfort. I feared that others might be disappointed that "the Schwambs who are so strong" hadn't cracked the code on perpetual peace after all. How can I encourage others when I've no longer got the calm assurance that all is good? I actually felt a bit like Elijah when he was hiding in a cave, running from Jezebel. He said, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” (1 Kings 19:10). Okay, so I didn't really feel like people were trying to kill me, but I sure felt the kind of stress that Elijah felt...and it's okay.

God calmed Elijah with a gentle whisper. He calmed me with the gentle whisper of friendship and prayer. It was then that things started looking up. I went to praise team rehearsal last Wednesday, and it was good to be around people, and good to be prayed over for my stress. My spirits began to lift. My kids would be back that weekend. Two days later, I got notified we got the house, which meant I could go to Philadelphia -- two more weights lifted. Lauren stopped falling, and today seems to have her energy back. I briefed my 3-star yesterday on my program with so many issues and got kudos for a good brief. And, Brennan passed his milk challenge yesterday. Wow! So much relief over the last several days. Life is definitely good again.

And God continues to be faithful.

Cristi posted a new blog entry a couple of days ago (you can read it here), called "Count your Blessings". I think it's time I did the same:

1) Lauren is at the best children's heart hospital in the world, getting care from top docs. You couldn't ask for more.
2) A wonderful wife that I truly love with all my heart and, amazingly, she tolerates me.
3) Two kids that have been through more than kids should ever have to go through, and they just roll with the punches.
4) God continues to answer my prayers -- about Lauren, the house, work, Brennan, ...
5) A boss that lets me take off whenever I need to, with no questions asked
6) An amazing base of care and concern from a ton of friends that I know -- and some that I don't
7) Two sets of parents that would move heaven and earth to help in any way they can
8) I get to sing my heart out and throw all my cares away at least once every week
9) I don't have to worry about health insurance costs. The military is truly a blessing.
10) Facebook and e-mail. It's been our lifeline.

"Your light broke through my night, restored exceeding joy. Your grace fell like the rain and made this desert live. You have turned my mourning into dancing! You have turned my sorrow into joy! This is how we overcome!"