Settling in to Afghanistan

So many of you have been so supportive of me and my family as we began this journey apart for a year, so I thought I would give you an overview of our mission here in Kabul and a few pictures showing what deployed life is like, at least on my base.

On Thursday, December 12th, I took command of the 439th Air Expeditionary Advisory Squadron. Our parent Wing is responsible for all of the Air Force advisors in Afghanistan. The 438th Air Expeditionary Advisory Group that I work for advises Afghanistan's Kabul Air Wing, advising on all areas of their mission: Fixed and rotary wing flight operations, maintenance, and base support. The 439th, my squadron, is responsible for that last area. The phenomenal advisors I have advise in the areas of security, supply, fuel, and troop and cargo movement. I, in turn, advise the Afghan Colonel, who is the Mission Support Group Commander over those functions. He has other squadrons under him similar to USAF Mission Support Groups, such as Civil Engineering and Communications, but, unfortunately, we no longer have advisors for those functions due to troop reductions.  Working together, the Afghans are maturing as an Air Force. Unfortunately, their culture is much different from ours, and we are sometimes guilty of trying to force methods or equipment on them that just won't work for them because we think they should be just like us. It's one of the hardest parts of this advisor mission: Helping them mature as a force, but in their own way, not ours. Nevertheless, the Afghans have come a long way, and they have great leadership under their Wing Commander who is a two-time national hero (equivalent to our Medal of Honor). My counterpart has been doing the job for 8 years and also knows his job very well. We mainly work together on how to break through bureaucratic blockades from other areas of the government. Imagine Pentagon bureaucracy multiplied by five or ten!

I'm located at a Forward Operating Base (FOB), known as Oqab, which means "eagle" in Dari, one of the two Afghan national languages, and, in addition to the advisor mission, I'm also the "mayor" of the FOB. That basically means that, like a Mission Support Group back in the States, I'm responsible for all of the base support functions here on the FOB from chow to facilities to security. Ironically, the only traditional base support function that doesn't fall under me is communications. Like a traditional Mission Support Group, though, I basically run a customer service organization, and rarely do people tell you thank you that the lights came on today, if you know what I mean. The funny thing is that the infrastructure isn't that good here in this third-world country, and so people really should be thankful that the lights came on, that there was hot water for their shower, that the toilets flush, that they have heat in their rooms, that there's hot food available...You get the idea. To be fair, I haven't heard any complaints yet, but it could be that the honeymoon's not over yet! All seriousness aside, one of my priorities is for everyone on this base to leave with a positive experience. We've got a mission to focus on and friends and family left behind on our mind. We don't need problems on base to be one additional stressor. We'll see how successful I am at that.

With all of that background, I wanted to show you a few pictures of the FOB and my personal space. Base size, facility types, and living accommodations run the entire gamut in the expeditionary world from being nearly a fixed base (as is the case in Qatar, where they have a TGI Fridays on base. I kid you not!) to being nearly all tents. FOB Oqab is somewhere in the middle. Our facilities aren't the greatest, but we have a couple of phenomenal contract partners out of the UK that help make them as good as they can be.

The headquarters building

The building my office is in

My office. It's still not quite decorated. It's missing my Sooner sign and 1st Combat Comm flag

A courtyard close to where my boss lives

The chow hall, or DFAC as we're supposed to call it now

The area where I live. That's mine in the foreground on the left

I live with my Defenders (cops), and this is on several of our doors, including mine. I guess that makes me he head of the ZORT!

My room. It's not much, but I live by myself (not everyone does), and there's plenty of space to sleep, read, and watch TV.

Just had to show a close up of my blanket with all my patches on it that Mrs Incredible sewed before I left

The Beginning of a Journey: Becoming an Air Advisor, Part IV

Salaam Alaikim! Chitoor astain? Zeyat khoob astam, wa hafta khoob ast!

As you can tell, this week was primarily focused on language lessons. We spent four hours each day learning Dari, which is one of the two national languages of Afghanistan. By the end of our lessons, we should be able to "get by" if we find outselves in a situation without an interpreter. We can also use it to impress our counterparts with our mad language skills...or show them that we respect the fact we're on their territory and are making an effort to reach out to them in their environment.

Our language instructor has been very good. He's taught us with a phenomenal blend of vocabulary, grammar/verb conjugation, and sentence structure. As a result, we're able to do basic things, like introduce ourselves, ask how they and their family are doing, and say that we need some particular item. At least for me, understanding basic sentence structure helps me create the sentences I need to create rather than trying to memorize certain phrases that have very little meaning or no way to associate the words to anything known. And, so that I can refresh my memory when I get over there, we have the instructor slides and a set of index cards! I know. I'm a dork.

This week we also had a cultural meal. A week or so ago, a few of us went to the local Afghan restaurant for dinner. That same restaurant also caters a cultural meal for each class so that we can try some authentic Afghan food and to get an idea of what to expect when we eat with them. The food was very good! We had a sort of curry chicken with rice, spiced garbanzo beans, salad, and bread. It was delicious! When we get the opportunity to eat with them, it will most likely be at their base. In those cases, they have couches and/or tables to sit at and we will eat with utinsels -- just like we would normally do. The traditional Afghan meal, however, and what you would likely expect if you were to eat at an Afghan's house, is to sit on the floor with legs crossed (Indian-style!) and eat with your right hand (no utinsels). I'm thinking that must make eating rice fun! Unfortunately, I don't think I'll have the opportunity to eat at an Afghan's house. I'm sure that would be the cultural experience of a lifetime!

Well, only one week of training left! We finish our language classes next week and have our final exercise, where we basically have to put together all that we've learned. Then home for a day and off again on a 50-mile hike with Brennan and the scouts! Woohoo!

By the way, the Dari at the top says, "Hello! (technically, it's "Peace be upon you") How are you? I'm doing great, and it's been a good week!"

I hope you have a great week also! Khodaa Hafez! (Goodbye or, more specifically, Godspeed)

The Beginning of a Journey: Becoming an Air Advisor, Part III

This past week, we got some more time in the classroom learning about Afghan culture and ways we can offend them. The amazing part is that their culture is so different from ours, it's really not that hard. Simply point or touch them with your left hand, and you've greatly insulted them. Ask them a question they don't know the answer to in front of others, and you've insulted their honor. They must save face. Its a good thing I'm giong through this course!

As I mentioned in my last post, we also spent a significant amount of time out in the field this week. We had an entire day of weapons use. I've shot the 9-mil before and am fairly comfortatble with it, but the first time I shot the M4 (basically an improved M16) was to qualify right before coming here. I was still trying to figure out where the trigger was and how to sling it. I was hopelessly lost trying to figure out how to shoot it when you can't reach your shoulder pocket because of the body armor! I can tell you that their course here was incredible! I am now much more comfortable with both weapons! Those of you that shoot know how good it feels to be confident with the weapons you use.

Another day, we did land navigation (orienteering in Boy Scout terms). I thought, "Finally! Something I know how to do!" But, even though I was already comfortable using a map and compass, I am now fully task-certified on navigating using UTM (a much more user-friendly land-nav system than lat-long). Look out Boy Scouts! We'll talk about this on the hike! When we did the practical exercise, I unknowingly teamed up with a guy that actually graduated from the Naval Academy and had to learn to do this stuff out on the water. Needless to say, we rocked the course!

The latter half of the week was driver's ed. Seriously. Well, okay, maybe it wasn't your daddy's driver's ed. We learned how to safely push our vehicles to the limits and learned a little about the physics behind speed, brakes, and tires. For example, you get much more traction staying off your brakes in a turn and trusting your car (tires) to do the work for you. Of course, if you do that too sharply or at too high a speed, you risk a rollover, so you have to know your vehicle's limits. We got to feel a few of those limits doing sudden lane changes, slaloms, and high-speed turns. Cristi has now declared that I'm no longer allowed to teach Addison how to drive. I just don't understand! Wouldn't you consider those to be critical skills everyone should know? I mean they keep telling us they're teaching us things that apply to much more than just the combat zone! What do you think?

Overheard at Lunch

We spent the majority of our time out in the field this past week, so we weren't able to get to the chow hall for lunch. Whenever that happens, we're relegated to MREs. A couple of short exchanges occurred in conjunction with that and I thought I might share with you.

First, I have to say that the MREs have definitely gotten better over the years. If you've never seen one, they come in a big ol' pouch with several smaller pouches inside and all of the food is fully-cooked and sealed. Presentation is lacking in all cases, though, to put it mildly. Things that just couldn't be stomached, like Ham & Cheese Omelet and Corned Beef Hash have been replaced by Buffalo Chicken, Southwest Beef & Black Bean, and Chicken Fajita, and they now all include heaters instead of leaving it to you to figure that part out. People also have their favorite sides. Sit down with a group of people eating MREs, and it won't be long before it turns into a Middle East market with people trading their Apple Sauce for the Protein Shake, the Tootsie Rolls for the White Chocolate Raspberry Cookie, or the Beef Jerky for the Jalapeno Cheese Whiz. And, then, when it's all done, all the leftovers that no one wanted get put into a box for people to take later if they want them. As if the same group of people that decided it wasn't worth it then would take it later!

So, one day, we were out in the field and one of our instructors told us we were going to do XYZ and then we'd sit down and get some food from Mr E's restaurant. I said, "Ya know, I've been to that restaurant several times, and I'm just not all that impressed!"

Another day, I was sittin' down with the fellas, popping open an MRE I hadn't tried before: Chicken Pesto Pasta. I heated it up, peeled it open, looked inside at something that resembled day-old Hamburger Helper that had been put into a plastic bag and vacuum-sealed, and said, "Ah! Whaddaya know? It looks like an MRE!" One of the other guys in the room said, "Look, I don't want to ruin it for you, but it tastes like one, too!" Yeah, I know...Ba-doom-boom. Sad humor, but when you're stuck out in the field eating MREs, you have to find humor where you can!

The Beginning of a Journey: Becoming an Air Advisor, Part II

This week was much less physically demanding and exhausting as last week. We spent much more time in the classroom, yet even though it was PowerPoint, in many ways, it was much more interesting. Outside the classroom, we had another session on self-protection, so I'm gradually refining my abilities to beat you up and kill you! By the time we get done, it might even look pretty! We also worked on small-team movements should we find ourselves off in the middle of nowhere. That part was by far the most physically demanding but extremely interesting as I had had very little exposure to it up to this point in my career. I found it (and most of the fieldwork) very challenging because it requires you to think and react quickly on your feet, something I'm woefully inadequate at. I was instead blessed with much more robust deliberate thinking skills, meaning I like to stop and think through each of my options, weighing which might be the best. Fortunately, this course intends to bridge the gap to a degree through exposure and practice so that, if we ever need these skills, we'll have a "new instinct" that should take over.

Our last bit of fieldwork we did this week was a vehicle rollover simulator -- stressful yet fun all at the same time. Imagine getting stuck in an uncomfortable position on one of those Six Flags rides and being on your own to get out -- no maintenance team is coming to free you and bring you a jumbo-sized Coke as a consolation for the inconvenience. Oh, by the way, we were of course wearing all of our body armor, which added weight and restricted movement. The first time, I easily got out of my seatbelt but quickly found myself laying prone on the ceiling of the vehicle. It quickly became apparent that I was laying closest to the only available exit, but I could no longer reach it because my legs were stuck back by the door and my head and arms were in the middle of the vehicle with no one else able to reach it either. Now imagine trying to rearrange yourself so that you can open the door and get out.

The second time, I was suspended from the top side of a vehicle that had rolled onto the side opposite me. This time, I couldn't unbuckle my seat right away for fear of falling on the folks on the bottom side (i.e., underneath me). At least while suspended there, I had a chance to look around and figure out the best way to get out. Unfortunately, there was nothing to grab onto above me, I couldn't reach the bottom of the vehicle to brace myself, and (as the driver) I was afraid my legs were going to get tangled in the steering wheel on the plunge down. This was going to be interesting. As my teammates were able to clear out of the vehicle, I had the next to last person brace me when I unbuckled the seatbelt, lowering me down (somewhat) gracefully to where I could crawl out. Our group totally rocked. We had good communication between us both times on finding the way out and helping others out, thus getting out of the vehicle both times as quickly and efficiently as possible, earning good praise and little critique from the instructor.

During our academic sessions this week, we finally started to get into the heart of the matter. We had a session on the history of Afghanistan and the Taliban insurgency therein. I was amazed at how much instability there has been there since the '70s -- even before the Russians invaded! In much of our modern world history, the seeds of conflict go back to post-World War II, when national boundaries were redrawn (somewhat arbitrarily) by the victors with no regard for ethnic settlement patterns. The same is true to an extent in Afghanistan, and we are reaping the "benefits" now as we try to cobble together a blended government of Tajiks and Pashtuns. The insurgency and state-building is incredibly more complex than that simplistic statement, though. I found myself thirsting for more because I think it could be vitally important to our success as advisors in understanding what the Afghans want and what will work for them, but I'm afraid we're not going to get it. We'll see...

The second block that really caught my attention was Islam Familiarization. This block appropriately included a history of it with some comparison/contrast with Christianity. I did a fair amount of research on Islam as part of my last Master's thesis on Somalia, but I got some holes filled in here that I was missing. First and foremost, to dispel a prominent myth, something I already knew: Jihad is NOT, repeat, is NOT one of the five pillars of Islam. Jihad, as it was intended, does have a two-fold meaning, though: First, it refers to the inner struggle a Muslim has as he strives to align his spiritual life with that which Allah intended. Second, it does refer to an external struggle, but only insofar as it applies to proselytizing and converting the whole world to Islam, yet NOT through violence. The same should be said of Christians as Jesus commanded us to "Go into all the world and preach the gospel, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." We as Christians would never consider that directive to be a militant edict, although, some that claim Christianity would near purport that. The same has happened amongst politicized Islam: Salafism/Wahhabism (Islamic sects) has been developed and further twisted into something the religion never intended, and now it is being used as a recruiting and political platform for those that truly wish to do us harm.

A couple of things I didn't know that I found interesting: First, the split between Sunni and Shi'a goes back to a dispute over the succession of the first caliphs. For those that don't know, the Islamic caliph is similar to the Pope. The Sunnis believe that there were three rightly-appointed caliphs following Muhammed, while Shi'as discount the first two after Muhammed. What I didn't learn is whether, like the Pope, these caliphs are still designated and whether they're more regionalized like Cardinals. I suspect there is great dispute over who these caliphs are.

Second, many of Muhammed's revelations/teachings that are recorded explicitly in the Qur'an are now largely ignored. In addition to the Qur'an, Islam also includes the Hadith, which are the teachings/interpretations provided by the Imams and clerics down through the years. These are then added on top of what is in the Qur'an and, like Israel during the time of the Pharisees, tradition now trumps Scripture. For instance, while the Qur'an specifically teaches that women may be educated and work outside the home and hold status, we know that has been suppressed by the Hadith in some Islamic sects (like Talibanic Afghanistan). Additionally, Muhammed apparently made a statement that in his house, when worshiping, there will be a screen between the men and the women such that they would not be together. This has been interpreted over the years that women must wear veils. Again, I found myself wanting more because I think it could be very helpful in understanding Afghan perspective and building rapport with our counterparts.

One of the reasons I joined the military was to see the world and experience other cultures. I find this an amazing opportunity to get to interact on an intimate level with those of a completely foreign culture. My prayer is that we will be able to make a difference in the lives of the Afghan people -- to get them closer to security, rule of law, peace, and prosperity.

The Beginning of a Journey: Becoming an Air Advisor

For those of you who don't know -- and many of you don't since I haven't been overly talkative about it -- I'll be deploying to Afghanistan for a year toward the end of this year. I'm going to be the advisor to one of the Afghan Mission Support Group Commanders there, as well as "the mayor" of the base I'll be on. Basically, I'll be responsible for all of the base support functions -- those functions that keep the base running, like infrastructure, food services, logistics, and security -- for my base and advising an Afghan partner how to do the same for his base. That's similar to what I do here in the States as the deputy to the Mission Support Group Commander.

"That's great," you say, "but aren't we getting out of Afghanistan?" Good question. What's really ending in 2014 are the military operations; the advisory role, which I'll be filling, will continue until 2017. That means there will still be a significant number of people deployed over there, yet only a small percentage compared to what we have now. Leading up to this deployment, I've had to click through an infinite number of computer-based training modules (CBTs in AF-speak) on everything from the Law of Armed Conflict and the Geneva Conventions to preventing sexual assault in the deployed environment to Afghan culture and language. All good stuff...well, okay, not all of it...but mind-numbing. I've gotten an inordinate amount of gear, including uniforms, magazine pouches, two different Camelbaks, a compass, a knife, and a headlamp, and that just scratches the surface! The uniforms are fire-retardant right down to the gloves and underwear. I'm just not sure I can do AF-issued underwear, but the gloves rock! I'll definitely be keeping those! It's enough to fill two very large rolling duffle/hockey bags -- with even more to get once I get in-theater.

As part of my preparation, I've also had to attend two training courses. The first was basically a Code of Conduct class that taught us what to expect and how to behave in the unlikely event we're captured. Mom, you can rest assured this is a VERY unlikely event, but better to know what to expect and how to act than to inadvertently or unknowingly bring dishonor on yourself or the United States. The second course I'm attending right now, and is a five-week course called the Air Advisor Academy. Its primary objective is to prepare us first and foremost on how to build up our Afghan partners for success but also to prepare us for the uncertain environment we could potentially find ourselves in.

That second part is what we spent the majority of our first week doing, and it totally took me by surprise! It was extremely physically demanding, and at the end of each day, I was physically exhausted! I was expecting the first day to be all classroom with lots of PowerPoint, complete with where to find the bathrooms and how much the coffee costs. Instead, I was thrust into a line where we were issued a first-aid kit, body armor and helmet, and a dummy 9-mil and M4 to carry around, which we were told to carry around with us at all times -- back to our room, to the chow hall, etc. At one point, I decided I needed to add Full Metal Jacket to my deployed movie list because I had "This is my rifle, this is my gun..." chanting through my head! Anyway, I digress...Then we spent the entire afternoon outside in full battle rattle (about 25-30 pounds of body armor, helmet, (fake) weapons, etc.). I was spent!

The next day, we spent the afternoon outside learning self-protection, which basically boiled down to hand-to-hand combat. We learned a lot of simple protective moves and a few offensive moves. So beware: When you thought before that I knew 8 ways to kill you, now I really do!

The week finished up with two and a half days of Combat Lifesaver training. This was a really great course that took our usual Self-Aid/Buddy Care to a whole new level. We learned how to put tourniquets on and completely dispelled the myth that if you ever put one on, the limb has to come off, meaning that if you only have time to put on a tourniquet, that's okay. It can always be taken off later. To make the point, in fact, we had to put them on ourselves and then tighten them down to as tight as they would actually be. We also dispelled the myth that tourniquets can't be put on the neck. Just kidding...that only fixes misbehaving kids! We also learned how to pack wounds with quick-clot gauze and how to put in a nasopharyngeal airway. In fact, one of our class members actually had to put it down the nose of another class member. No, neither one was me!

Our two finals were a written test and a series of practicals where we had to rescue some casualties during hostilities and then treat their wounds (again in full battle rattle and in low light). To make it more realistic, they even used real blood, which we got all over ourselves. And, these skills could be invaluable outside of the military, too. In fact, Cristi already said that she feels better knowing I have those skills when I go out hiking with the Boy Scouts. Yep. Sure enough, if one of the boys gets shot or steps on a landmine, I've got 'em covered! All seriousness aside, these are great skills to have in the event of a broken bone or other serious injury when you need to keep calm and doctor on.

Well, one week down and four to go. Last week was full of training that I hope to never use, but better to be exposed to it and know what to do than to sit there paralyzed from shock and fear. It's why the Boy Scouts spend so much time on first-aid and wilderness survival skills: To be prepared...for life! Next week is much more focused on the advisor role with only a couple of days of fieldcraft. If I can keep my blogging motivation up, I'll let you know next week how that went, too!

The End of an Era

Today has been an interesting day for many reasons. Our time in Washington, DC has come to an end. Can you believe it's been over five years since we moved here? That's the longest we've lived anywhere! Consequently, there are a LOT of memories here. As the packers spent their second day at our house, I began reflecting on some of them.

First, I began thinking about all of the history that surrounds us here. I took the opportunity to visit (and drag my family to) all of the Civil War battlefields in the eastern theater -- all within easy driving distance of our house. We walked the same ground many of our ancestors walked. Addison gave a short lecture on a staff ride I attended at Harpers Ferry. Another time, I visited all the battlefields in the second half of the war in a single weekend. Still another time, we spent Thanksgiving Day at Gettysburg. Wow! I get sentimental when I think of those memories!

Second, we are leaving an amazing church family at Fairfax! Everywhere we've been, God has placed us exactly where he wanted us. Going to church at the Fairfax Church of Christ was no different. He showed us for the first time in our lives that it's okay to let others take care of you; you don't always have to do it yourself, and there's no shame in admitting you need help. I also grew through the worship ministry. I learned what pure unhindered worship is. As a part of that, I learned that I really can sing on a microphone in front of people and that I can lead them to the throne to experience God...and it's an experience like no other.

I also grew my faith here, although it was more like God grabbing me by the collar and dragging me kicking and screaming -- enter Lauren. I had no idea that I could ever make it through everything that little girl has put us through, but I have -- many times while being spiritually carried. I came to realize in no uncertain terms that prayer works. If you don't believe me, watch Lauren's video again here. It's important to note here that we don't always get our best outcome; we get what's best for us in the long run.

Addison and Brennan have really grown up here. Addison has turned into a beautiful young lady that I'm proud of every day. Brennan is still goofy, but he's a great kid that has matured immeasurably over the last year. Many times I find myself amazed that he's only 9. I'm very pleased to say that my relationship with both of them has deepened considerably over the last year. I'm so thankful that I get to be their dad.

So...finally to the point...Today is the one-year anniversary of Lauren's heart transplant. We will be forever grateful for that gift of life! I'm so blessed to get to witness God's mercy and power through this little girl. She has an energy that she's never had before. I've taken to telling people that ask that everything is great except her attitude! But, objectively, that in itself is encouraging: it means that she can get busy being a typical toddler. Now she still has muscular and eating issues that we're working on, but she is a totally new person...and she continues to amaze me. I can't help but smile when I look at her. Or, as Collin Raye said,

"I wish I could save these moments
Put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turnin'
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't
I know I can't
But I wish I could"

As we prepare to leave DC, it's almost as if we close that chapter in our lives and open a new one. As good as it was, I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds!

Revitalizing the Blog: Simple Family, Not-as-Complex Life

OK, I know I haven't blogged in a long while -- a year to be exact. You could say I've had writer's block, but that's not all of it. The truth is this blog never developed into exactly what I envisioned...but I also couldn't pull myself to do it -- because the old one had to end.

I wanted the blog to be about me and life with my wonderful family -- a family that wanted so desperately to be just simple folk, but somehow got thrust into one so complex Cristi and I really needed an executive assistant to organize our life. Unfortunately, the source of that complexity -- Lauren, and to a lesser extent Brennan -- took over the blog. That's okay, though, because so many people are so captivated by Lauren and her story that you're probably much more interested in that than you are about the remainder of my life. The good news is that our life isn't quite as complex as it has been (see the next post):

So, the time has come: It's time to revitalize the blog -- or at least make the attempt. This time, I'd like to include more musings about the other facets of my life -- the command job, random thoughts while shaving, silly family-isms, the struggle to live out loud for God, and even some more Lauren stories. I also intend to make the posts shorter to make new ones a little less daunting. I realize that may not be what some of you are looking for, but that's okay. Thanks for sharing Lauren's journey with us. I hope it has blessed you as much as it has blessed us!

A Baby Changes Everything

Indeed a baby does change everything. One changed the whole world about 2000 years ago and another changed our lives again significantly last year. Below is the 2009 installment of Schwamb Current History. Enjoy!

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As we looked through past letters in preparation for drafting this memorable manuscript, we couldn’t help laughing hysterically at how crazy we thought our lives had been before! Previous subscribers to the annual installment of the Schwamb family history annals may recall that we ended last year with a bombshell:Lauren’s cardiologist told us it was time for a heart transplant. He told us to go home, enjoy Christmas together, and then check her into the hospital to wait for it starting right after New Years. We did exactly that. On New Year’s Day, we all went snow tubing! Lauren wasn’t too sure about it, but the rest of us had a blast! The next week, Cristi and Lauren’s unfortunate incarceration began. Both sets of our parents took rotations to help take care of the kids. Had it not been for their sacrifice, we absolutely couldn’t have done it.

It wasn’t too long before we had a big snow at our house. Addison and Brennan went out to play, and, against Tim’s better judgment, Brennan decided to get a Rubbermaid tub to use as a sled. Give the kid some credit, though; he managed to steer the thing to avoid the metal bench, brick wall, and mortal peril. Tim finished the winter with a bang. He had the opportunity to go to the military salute to President Bush just prior to inauguration. A couple of weeks later, he went TDY to Germany to his old stomping grounds: the 1^st Combat Comm. And, in case you wondered, it is possible to have schnitzel at every meal…and you never get tired of going as fast as you like on the autobahn. Meanwhile, Cristi and Lauren tried not to get cabin fever. Lauren rode her tricycle all over the halls, charming everyone she passed. Fortunately, a wonderful church in the area ensured they were well cared for.

In March, as Spring was just arriving and the ground was thinking about thawing, Tim took the big kids to Great Wolf Lodge with some friends. They also made frequent trips to Philadelphia to see Cristi and Lauren. On one visit, the whole family took over the Rock Band game in the playroom. Obviously, the moral of the story is that the family that rocks together stays together! Tim made a solo trip up there in May for the CHOP Prom – an event the hospital puts on for all the kids, especially those older kids that may miss their prom because they’re stuck in the hospital. Cristi and Lauren dressed up and got their hair and nails done at the hospital, and Tim wore his mess dress uniform. One of the staff arranged for the local TV station to interview us all, and we showed up on the evening news! Lauren really was a star! Later that month, Cristi made a whirlwind trip home to see Tim and the big kids in the church musical called Imagine! that traced the history of God’s music through the ages. Tim even played Jesus! Cristi was gone for less than 24 hours total, but it was completely worth it. We’re thankful for Tim’s mom, who stayed with Lauren. Brennan also had two food challenges in the Spring – for milk and eggs – and passed both. Now he’s only allergic to peanuts! He wasted no time digging in to scrambled eggs, cheese, Doritos, chocolate, cheesecake – all the delicacies in life! Lauren began taking advantage of the warming weather and occasionally got to go outside (heavily supervised) for some fresh air.

As summer began, we began to wonder if the transplant journey would ever end. But still we pressed on. Brennan and Addison went off to camp. Now Addison is very self-sufficient. We don’t even look back when she goes. Conversely, Tim talked to Brennan for weeks about how he would have to be responsible when he went. The situation was exacerbated by the fact that Brennan would be in an entire cabin full of his friends. Tim took heart that he wasn’t called to come get him, but when he went to pick Brennan up at the end of the week, his shoes were muddy and soaked through, apparently from daily crawdad-hunting. Didn’t realize that was a sport! Tim also found out after arriving back home that, despite having his outfits separated into Ziploc bags, he didn’t feel the need to change his underwear every day. Un.Be.Lievable! In mid-July, Tim took the big kids camping with some friends. Even though it rained, they all had a great time – especially hiking up to the waterfall and sticking their feet in. Then, on Monday, July 27^th, we finally got word that a heart was available. Tim dropped everything and headed to Philadelphia. Early the morning of the 28^th, Lauren received her new, strong heart – a perfect match! And the angels sang, “HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!” The surgery was incredibly successful, and life was good again. She recovered better than expected, exceeding all the doctors’ expectations. Tim stayed a few days, but had to return to out-process from the Pentagon. After four years, his sentence had finally been commuted. He took a couple of weeks of Leave to spend time with the family. First, he took the big kids up to Philadelphia and hijacked Cristi, so that we could all go to Six Flags, while Tim’s mom stayed with Lauren. Right on the heels of that, Tim took Addison and Brennan to Busch Gardens. Brennan discovered he liked roller coasters and they rode the biggest and baddest the park had to offer, including the Griffon, that suspended you over the edge to contemplate your 90-degree plunge before actually doing it.

All good things must come to an end, though, and Tim had to go back to work – this time as a full-time student, attending the National Defense Intelligence College for his mid-level professional military education. He’s working harder than he wanted to, but really loves the classes. He’s doing his thesis on countering Islamic extremism in Somalia and is totally enthralled by it. Cristi and Lauren finally traded incarceration for house arrest just before Labor Day, moving out of the hospital and into an extended stay hotel. Tim took the big kids, a small grill, and food, and had a cookout at the hotel to celebrate. At the end of September, after 266 days, Cristi and Lauren came home for good. Can I get an AMEN?

As Fall kicked into high gear, everyone (including Cristi) went back to their normal fast-paced routine. Tim is now the worship ministry lead at church, which takes most of the time left after school and family time. Cristi continues going to a seemingly infinite number of appointments – physical therapy, occupational therapy, feeding therapy, allergy shots, orthopedics, the list goes on…Her greatest feat since returning is going to three appointments in three states in one day. Addison and Brennan continue to embarrass us by learning more Bible verses than we can count at AWANA. Addison also started voice lessons and loves it. Watch out Hannah Montana! At the end of October, the big kids ran in the Marine Corps Kids Run – a one-mile run and did great! Tim intended to run the 10k this year, but was still suffering from an early-Summer ankle injury. Thankfully, he’s finally in physical therapy for it. At Halloween, the entire family went trick-or-treating…and got three memorable quotes. 1) After being taught to walk up, knock, and say “trick-or-treat” when the door opened, Lauren went to two houses at which no one answered, so she said, “This doesn’t work!” 2) Brennan: “I’m tired!” Cristi: “You could quit and go home.” Brennan: “No! I’m not a quitter!” 3) Addison, after trick-or-treating: “These gummy brains taste weird!” In November, Tim and Brennan went on a guys camping trip with several guys from church. After a grand total of five hours, Brennan fell and broke both bones in one forearm. His recovery has been long, but it’s finally in a cast (vs. a splint) and healing properly.

In December, Tim got an early Christmas present: He was hired to be the comm squadron commander at Little Rock! That’s a significant milestone, and we’re very excited as a family for next summer. As usual, Christmas time seems more stressful than peaceful, but as we reflect back on how blessed we are, despite the year being almost a total blur, we realize how great a year it’s been. God continues to bless us in unimaginable ways, including the birth of His son. We hope you have enjoyed an abundance of blessings this year as well and look forward to hearing from you!

Merry Christmas!
Tim, Cristi, Addison, Brennan, and Lauren

And on the 204th Day...

...God provided a new heart for our little girl! The day began like most of the previous 203. I got up and went to work feeling tired, worn out, wishing it would end...I even came across a cool word that I hadn't used in a long time while reading an article: ennui. I even posted it as "the word of the day" on my Facebook status update. I went about my day and didn't give it anymore thought.

I left work a little early because I had to run by the church to take care of some stuff. Then I went home, changed clothes, and stuck my dinner in the nuker, thinking about what I needed to get done that night. Suddenly the phone rang. The caller ID said it was Cristi. At 6:30, I thought it early for her to be calling, but occasionally she calls me at odd times, so I didn't think about it too much. After all, why should I expect anything? It's been Groundhog Day for 204 days! But, after exchanging marital pleasantries, I hear, "So, are you up for a road trip?" "Come on, are you kidding me?", I respond. "I couldn't kid about that. You'd kill me!" "Yeah, but it's been so long! Do you really want me to come right now?" "Yes." "OK. I can leave in an hour."

I arrived at the hospital about 9:45. Lauren was just finishing up labs and x-rays, but still didn't know what was happening. We knew that if we told her, she'd never go to sleep, and she'd need her rest with the trauma to follow. Cristi did read her the transplant "storybook" from Child Life, though. Lauren liked reading that book. They read it several times that night.

It was great getting to hug Lauren before the big event. After putting her to bed, Cristi and I went and hung out with some dear friends from New Jersey that came over to keep us company. It was nice to be able to think about other things for a while, but strangely, neither of us had the uncontrollable wave of emotion we expected. We also talked to Lauren's doctor, who was away for the week at transplant camp. He told us the heart was not good -- it was perfect! Awesome! Then it was worth the wait! At midnight, we sent our friends on their way. We knew it was going to be a long night, because, at that point, the Philadelphia team still hadn't arrived at the origin to pick up the heart. The adrenaline was wearing off, too. I was getting tired. Cristi and I went back to Lauren's room to get a nap. At this rate, it would be morning before Lauren was out of surgery.

At 1:30, we woke up to find anesthesia in the room. I guess that heart travelled quicker than we thought. Cristi quickly woke Lauren up, who took one look at the anesthesia team and said, "My new strong heart?" Cristi told her, yes, it was time, and as Lauren's nervousness came on her, the anesthesia team sedated her. We walked her all the way to the OR. Her eyes were open, but no one was home. I suppose that was good. Well, here began the journey into the unknown...

We went back to Lauren's room to get some sleep. After just a few minutes (about 2:15), a nurse came in, introduced herself, and told us she'd give us hourly updates, but to expect the surgery could go 4-6 hours, possibly up to 10. At 3:30, she came back and said that they were ready to put the new heart in. At 4:30, she told us they were just finishing up -- after only 2 hours! That could only mean good news! At about 5:00, the surgeon came in and said that everything went extremely well and he was going to go extubate her (take her off the ventilator). We were shocked! That usually takes at least 24 hours! We found out later that that surgeon tends to be very conservative, which makes the extubation that much more remarkable!

At 5:30, we were finally able to see Lauren. She kinda woke up -- enough to mutter a little bit, but stayed pretty much out of it that whole day. The doctors said that they couldn't be happier! We couldn't have been either! So much culminated in that one moment: Joy over a successful surgery and transplant, the realization that the end of this portion of the journey is finally in sight, and the realization that it had only been a few short hours since a family had seen through the grief of losing their child to give ours the gift of life.

We continue to think about the donor family and to be thankful for their generosity. We received a package yesterday that allows us to send an anonymous thank-you note to the family. We can't wait to relay our thanks, tell them about our wonderful little girl, and how many people have been touched by her story.

Lauren continues to do well, and we've passed a major hurdle...but this story is far from over. As Lauren's cardiologist explained to us, we've essentially traded one disease (heart disease) for another (transplant disease). Obviously, one is a better option for life than the other, but she will be on a large drug cocktail for the rest of her life. Her immune system will be suppressed, which means it will be much easier to get sick. And, transplanted hearts don't last forever. We don't know how long it will last. What we do know is that hearts transplanted 15-20 years ago are failing now. Doctors have learned an enormous amount over that 15-20 years, but it's still fairly safe to say that she may have to go through this again. Wow! Hard to think about...

Lauren still has all of her other issues, too -- or at least we don't know how they've been impacted. We're not sure if her pulmonary hypertension has resolved with the new heart. Her cardiologist told us beforehand he believed it would resolve. We should have a good idea about that before Lauren comes back home. She still has poor muscle quality (i.e., not all her muscles are formed correctly). We can hope the new heart will at least give her more stamina that she can pair with her physical and occupational therapies to get stronger. There's also an on-going study that may give us some insight as to potentially helpful treatments. Finally, she's still completely tube-fed. We had a few weeks of working on eating prior to transplant. Unfortunately, Lauren didn't cooperate with the two swallow studies and they terminated the feed-a-Lauren program. Who can blame her? Who likes barium, or having a camera shoved up your nose and down into your throat? We're hoping to start working on that again before discharge. There are so many unknowns...so much to think about...so I won't right now.

Instead, I will rejoice in the answered prayer of a hugely successful surgery and our family being reunited. We don't have an exact date yet, but we have a target timeframe. Lauren will remain in the ICU for 1-2 weeks, then she'll transfer back to the regular cardiac ward for another 1-2 weeks. During that time, they'll be constantly monitoring her progress. After discharge, she'll have to remain in the local area for another couple of months due to the high number of appointments. She'll have doctor appointments twice a week and several heart caths during that time. But that will taper off, and our family will once again be whole again -- probably around Halloween. That's about 10 months of being apart. In that time, our family has changed a lot. Lauren talks all the time now. She's like a little person with her own personality. Addison has turned into a full-fledged Tween while Cristi's been gone. Brennan's grown up, too. We've moved and Cristi doesn't know where anything is in the new house. There will be challenges reintegrating, but I'll take it. We have a date!