Golfing Lessons Learned

I played golf yesterday for the first time in almost 6 years! It was my work organization's fall golf scramble and a good friend convinced me to play, so off I went. I told her I hadn't played in a long time, but if they needed a court jester (i.e., someone to laugh at), I could oblige. Sadly, I actually paid for them to have this entertainment...Shouldn't they have been paying me?

Anyway, I digress...I learned several lessons yesterday that I wanted to share with you in case you find yourself in a similar situation:

1. A 6-year-old golf glove is not still in usable condition.
2. You should stick a bucket under the range ball machine before you stick your token in. Otherwise, you get to play 52-ball pickup in a parking lot.
3. You may forget what you ate last night, but you don't forget old bad golf habits.
4. If you lose a ball, don't worry. Chances are someone else has lost at least one previously that will replace yours.
5. Hitting the ball from the fairway is hard...if you're used to playing in the rough.
6. If you're looking for your lost ball in a swamp, higher ground does not necessarily imply solid ground. It can actually mean it's ground soft enough to sink halfway up your calf!
7. If your partners drink a lot, you will have to take a lot of potty breaks.
8. If your partners drink a lot, your score will go down, because counting higher either becomes more difficult or less important -- I'm not sure which!
9. If you run into another golf cart, the damage is barely noticeable.
10. Golf balls that land on the road bounce really high. We gave more than one car a scare yesterday!
11. Golfing is only fun for 15 holes if it starts getting cold on Hole #16.
12. If you're not any good, it doesn't matter how many mulligans you buy.